Tomorrow is Yom Kippur. (Next week will start Sukkot, then Simchat Torah, and then the holidays will be done… Until Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, and so forth.)

Yom Kippur is the Jewish Day of Atonement, “because on this day atonement will be made for you, to cleanse you. Then, before the Lord, you will be clean from all your sins.” (Leviticus 16:30). A solemn and hallowed day, we spend it in worship, in prayer, in meditation, and in study, knowing that God “is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Sometimes, questions of forgiveness make me feel like a little kid. Why do you say, “I’m sorry”? Because your mother told you to, and you know that if you don’t recite those words, you won’t get any dessert? Sometimes, I wonder whether we’ve gotten so good at saying it “like you mean it” that we’ve forgotten how to mean it anymore?

Yet, “say ‘I’m sorry’; say it like you mean it” holds a bit of truth. As adults, we apologize for the sake of the relationship, such as it is, even if that relationship remains rocky. But even if I can’t apologize (e.g., because the person I wronged has died), or even he won’t accept my apology, I still need to realize the wrong I’ve done and set my life on a better course. And if I am wronged, even if the person who wronged me won’t apologize, I still need to forgive him.