Spiritual Abuse - Tag - In a past life… https://archive.jtimothyking.com/tags/spiritual-abuse/ Spiritual Abuse - Tag - In a past life… Hugo -- gohugo.ioen-usSun, 27 Jan 2019 19:42:11 +0000 Making Sense of My Stage-5 Post https://archive.jtimothyking.com/2019/01/27/making-sense-of-my-stage-5-post/ Sun, 27 Jan 2019 19:42:11 +0000 J. Timothy King https://archive.jtimothyking.com/2019/01/27/making-sense-of-my-stage-5-post/ WARNING: This post is long. Over 5,000 words. It’s a braindump of something that’s been stewing in me for over 4 years.

Christchurch earthquake damage
The bridge on Spencerville Road crossing the Lower Styx river, in the aftermath of a 2010 earthquake in Canterbury (including Christchurch City) NZ. Photo: Martin Luff

“I’m warning you, if you proceed to Stage 5, and you’re not ready to be ostracized from the relationship—the larger relationship, perhaps the family, the job, the social group—then you’re not ready for Stage 5." (Ross Rosenberg, “On Becoming a Psychological Orphan: When Losing Your Family Is Good, But Hurts,” 7:29.)

Ross Rosenberg is an author and psychotherapist who specializes in codependency, narcissism, and trauma. He’s developed a 10-stage Self-Love Recovery™ treatment program for victims of narcissistic abuse. Stage 5 is the climactic act in the story, in which the victim sets boundaries with their abuser, sometimes for the first time in their life.

This never goes well.

But it is always necessary to cross that mountain in order to reach the fertile plains on the other side.

No, it’s not a mountain. It’s an earthquake.

And that’s how it was for me, too.

And then there’s the rebuilding afterward.

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